By Nicole Cleveland

When I say sister I don’t mean blood sister, I am referring to my female co-worker, my church sister , my female associates. Because we all have said,” Oh, I don’t have friends, I just have associates.” What is that? What are associates? We, as females get so deep and spiritual. We don’t want to be caught up in the “he- said, she said. She wants your boyfriend / husband etc”. We will quickly say something stupid like, “I don’t fool with women, they are just trouble.” Guilty, I’ve said it on more than one occasion. But to be honest, I think we have relationship fear. Not for men but for friends. We silently ponder, in the back of our minds , “ I won’t let her get too close, she wants my man” or “She’s prettier or more educated than I am. She thinks she is better than I am, a better mother.” 

Why do we compare? Just take a breath, raise your finger up and say “Guilty!”  But what is it really? I have received the same e-mail  in my inbox more than 10 times. You know the one: There will always be a woman with a bigger house, who drives a better car, has more money…but love who you are…

I read it each time and think, so true.

What is jealousy? We go to church each week and the preacher says that we are to be happy for our sisters. When they get blessed we are to rejoice. And don’t get me wrong I am happy for them but you still think in the back of your head, “SEND ME THE CAR, SEND ME THE HOUSE, SEND ME THE MAN” 

As women we have so many different things going on in our minds at any given moment…always multi-tasking and never sitting still (I speak for myself).

A relationship is like a marriage. I accept you for who you are. Do we accept the people in our lives for who they really are? Not who they are on the good days but who they really are? Not many people can say that because we wear 2 faces. And, most of us never get to see the other face. That face that is tucked away in the house, behind the closed doors, in the closet or under that huge ‘ole hat.  Not to say we are two-faced. But we choose who sees what face. So, it all boils down to: “Am I jealous of my sister?”

Back to that e-mail.

How about the woman that is the CEO of the Fortune 500 company. Are you jealous of her? Do you wish you had what she has? What about the woman that has the family of 5 plus the dog, 3 car garage, husband that worships her and 5 figure bank account. Are you jealous of her?  Let’s take a deeper look. Maybe she is the CEO, but how did she get there? She could have been in an apartment without a job for years.  And what about the woman with the family of 5, yes maybe her husband worships her but you don’t know if her oldest son is on drugs, stealing all of their possessions and they are on the verge of  bankruptcy. My mother use to say, “Never judge a book by its cover. You may notice that if you open it,  some pages are missing…”

So in a nutshell, let’s be happy for our sisters and not be afraid to be genuine.

Nicole Cleveland is founder of Breathe Again Magazine Online. She is on a mission to empower, encourage and motivate women by posting real life articles of women overcoming adversity. Contact her at editor@breatheagain.org 

www.breatheagainmagazine.com